Chapter 1.0

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Rusty Rabble, a disgusting pig of a human being, moves to Oasis Springs.

Rusty:  Hey, hot stuff, howz it goin’?

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He has a trucker friend drop his home off on an empty plot of land and squats there.

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Nancy:  I sure hope you’re not talking to me.

Rusty:  So, you’re too good for the likes of me, eh?

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Nancy:  That’s my kid over there, his toes are too good to talk to the likes of you.

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Rusty heads on over to the library to read up on pranks.

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He liked the book so much, he borrowed it from the library without first getting a library card.

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Then he went fishing and gathered junk around the park near his house.

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Rusty wanted to rummage in the garbage, but some bitch got there first.  Rusty was not amused.

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Rusty liked the chicks in town.  Lilith was more his speed, but he liked the looks of the uppity rich bitches like Nancy and Eliza.

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Rusty:  Yo, toots!  Howz it goin’?

Nancy:  How dare you speak to me!  We’re in public!  Someone might see!

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Rusty somehow overcomes Nancy, probably with his nasty breath and she agrees to cloudgaze with him.

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Rusty got bored doing girly shit and ran off.

Nancy watched him, a little grossed out and a lot intrigued.

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Promotion time.

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Nancy called him up several times for dates and outings, Rusty may be dumb, but he wasn’t stoopid.  Much.

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Nancy:  So, I just threw up and I feel really gross.

Rusty:  Who cares, let’s woohoo!

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Nancy:  I think I’m pregnant!

Rusty:  You just had to go and ruin everything!  I thought you uppity bitches were fixed so you could screw around without consequences.

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Nancy:  Uppity bitch? What the hell have I done?

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Rusty:  Hello, yes, I’d like to check my skank in for an abortion. Thanks. crashed here.  So we start over.

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This time, Nancy needs a little help getting flirty.  Rusty splurged on a stupid lamp he couldn’t afford.

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Rusty was so flirty, that he accidentally flirty greeted Geoffrey.  Geoffrey flirted back (giggle).

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Geoffrey:  You won’t tell that bitch wife of mine that I prefer disgusting assholes like you, right?

Rusty:  Oh, of course not.  <fingers crossed> Scouts honor!

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Rusty:  You better get home, your man was giving me sexy eyes.  I ain’t above manlove.  If you’re lucky, we’ll invite you in bed too.

Nancy:  I’m horrified and surprisingly turned on right now.

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Nancy goes brain dead and becomes Rusty’s girlfriend.

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I had to break a rule and sell all the doors.  Eliza came over, came indoors and knocked to be invited in.  She then walked outside and then back in.  So, new doors.

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Nancy:  This is disgusting.  Where’s your chef?

Rusty:  Look, Toots, I spent some of my  last cash to make this shit for you.   You’re welcome.

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Nancy:  I know I’m standing right here, but please answer my phone call.  I sent it on a delayed timer.

Rusty:  Is that a phone benefit that is only offered to rich bitches like yourself?

Nancy:  You’re a pig.  Let’s go.

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Rusty:  Hey, Toots, your man is here.  So, you really do want a threesome?

Nancy:  Oh shut up.

Rusty and Nancy tear up the town that night.  Geoffrey, watches the whole thing transpire.  He knew there was nothing to be done and dumps his wife.  He is later seen married to some homeless chick.

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We pick back up after a very pregnant Nancy has moved in.  She quietly quits her job, hoping no one would figure out what had happened to her.

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Rusty was pissed off that his woman brings in her stupid kid.  Good thing he has a birthday in a couple of days.

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Nancy brought in a buttload of money and Rusty got a doublewide trailer that was fully furnished.

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He also got another trailer.  He figured he could move the brats in there when they are old enough.

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Eager to get that teen jerk out of the house, Rusty uses his work requirement of cooking to bake that shithead a cake.

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Nancy, bored out of her mind, has taken up painting in her lingerie.  She realizes that she is utterly miserable and misses Geoffrey.

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Huntin’ land!  Rusty hated to spend money, but thems the rules.

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Rusty:  Look, bitch, this is the last time I am going to propose.  Say yes or get out.

Nancy, after six refusals, finally says yes.

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He is really adorable in the most disgusting way.

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Nancy:  Those teeth are disgusting.  Why don’t you go have them fixed?

Rusty:  You’re disgusting, why don’t you put makeup on to hide your old age.

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Nancy was so sick of the dogs always coming over.  The first thing she did when they showed up was to send them back out to potty.  Then she made Rusty clean up their shit piles.

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Nancy has become addicted to coffee.  She stands here all day.

Nancy:  I wish there was a goddamn bar nearby.

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Rusty was out tending his garden while Nancy killed herself with caffeine.

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To piss her off, Rusty adopted Ziggy.

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This did not stop Nancy’s addiction.

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Rusty tried numerous times to get married to Nancy during a party that only two people showed up for.

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Finally, on the third try it happened.  Just after their kiss, labor commenced.  Rusty stood there yelling at her for not having an abortion when she had the chance.

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Nancy didn’t even make it to the nursery before having the baby.  Geoffrey, hearing it cry, went over and immediately took care of him.

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As soon as Spam was moved indoors, Eliza got him all happy again before Rusty forced her to leave.

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Rusty adored Ziggy.  He was such a good boy.  Here is Ziggy getting his first ever bath.

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On first glance you would think that Rusty and Nancy were getting busy.

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But you would be wrong.  Rusty had called to adopt another dog, but the lady didn’t show up with a dog.

Rusty figured that since she was here, she might as well enjoy some Rusty lovin’.

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Erika quickly approved their household for adoption and brought Bubblegum the next time she was called up.

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Rusty forgot to ban all the new dogs, so he made sure to give all the strays he has grown to love a bath before sending them on their way.

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Ziggy continues to be a very good boy.

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Rusty was not aware that Nancy saw him in bed with that nasty service bitch.  She tried to take her anger out in her painting, but it didn’t work.

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There was only one thing left to do.

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Nancy was not amused that her birth control failed.

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Geoffrey:  How the hell could you let this happen?  You’re such a whore.  I hope you don’t expect me to take you back after you dumped me and left me with no money.

Nancy:  I suggest you leave and never come back.

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It’s summertime and the annual yard sale commences.  Too bad it took all day to figure this shit out.

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Vlad ruined everything by dying nearby.

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Hours later, they still don’t know how to yard sale.

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Thanks to Teresa, we were able to get indoors and changed into our summer outfit before death happened.  Rusty did indeed get the same notification.

They went back outside, armed with how to yard sale, and made $300.  Because they suck.

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Spam has his birthday.  I believe he is a charmer.

He is all Nancy too.

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He immediately finds Bubblegum and imitates her.

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All night.

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Finally a good view of Ziggy and his traits.

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And here is Bubblegum and her traits.

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Nancy gave Malcolm a key to the house and he is over all the time to help clean.  He mops up while Nancy fixes the sink.

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Erika asks to come over to share some news with Rusty.

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Rusty absolutely adores Erika and even the pregnancy is not enough to put a damper on his affections.

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While Nancy continues to be occupied elsewhere…

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Rusty welcomes Betty Sue.  He hides the fact that he can’t stand her from Erika.

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Sick and tired of Ziggy waking up the house, Rusty finally gets him to stop barking…

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Spam:  Don’t wanna potty!

Rusty:  Too bad, dipshit.

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Spam now knows that if he wants something, he better go to mommy.

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Too bad mommy bails on talking to give birth to Bubba Ray (she was supposed to have twins, but MCCC lied and she only had one).

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Rusty had no interest in anything except his dogs.  He loved them both so much.

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Nancy and Rusty spent the day drinking.  One thing…

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..well first we had to meet a toddler Betty Sue, who is clingy.

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…led to another.  Nancy is not amused.

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Nancy was at her wits end.  She kept throwing up, everyone was leaving puddles around for Ziggy to lick up and the kids were always filthy.

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At least Rusty was good for something.

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Nancy was livid.  She finally had two happy toddlers and clean dogs running around.  Now this.

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Makeover time for Spam and Betty Sue.

I have no clue why they have the same eye color.  I’ll have to take a closer look at Erika someday.

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The real reason for the toddler pic.  Betty Sue had a nightmare and Spam followed her to watch his parents get pissed off.

Rusty: Get back to bed!  Can’t you see mommy and daddy are trying to sleep?

Betty Sue:  Not my mommy!

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Nancy:  Get in there and stay in there.  Ugh

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Nancy, already pregnant, gets abducted.  It would have been to awesome if she came back alien pregnant.  Dammit.

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Rearranging the nursery overnight causes some unfortunate side effects.  Rusty got a neglected warning about Betty Sue and had to go rescue her.

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Bubba Ray has grown up.

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Spam is working on his last skill to get to level 3.

Due to the amount of money Nancy brought in (even after being evicted from home), playables were deemed banned and the rules updated


+1   Shotgun Wedding/Parties
+2   For the founder and every heir that marries while they or their spouse are showing a baby bump.
+5   If the baby is born before the wedding party timer runs out!
+5   For a Normal start.
+4   (+2) For each legitimate pregnancy.
+6   (+3) For each illegitimate pregnancy.
+30 (+10) For every 6 x 20 trailer on the lot! (Doublewides would count as two).
+10 For every 3×3 or larger lot the family owns as “hunting land” either in the neighborhood or in a vacation ‘hood.
+10 For having at least two dogs living on the main lot before the first heir is a young adult.
+1 For each dog that was adopted in as a stray.

Total: 84


9 thoughts on “Chapter 1.0

  1. OMFG. LOVE IT. I have just the base game… but it rocks. I have the Sims 2, 3 and 4. I am obsessed. I want the 5th too!!!! OMG. Um, your founder looks like a fat Wayne Campbell from Wayne’s World LMAO

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